Heretical Fishing 2: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself by Haylock Jobson

Author:Haylock Jobson [Jobson, Haylock]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Fantasy, Paranormal, LitRPG (Literary Role-Playing Game)
ISBN: 9781039453135
Google: RCK10AEACAAJ
Publisher: Podium Publishing
Published: 2024-07-08T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifty

Calculated Loss

With the morning sun filtering down from above—and giggles flowing freely from my mouth—I ran for my life.

“I’m sorry! I was only joking!”

“Get him, Claws!” Maria yelled, her arms pumping as she sprinted after me.

Lightning sprouted from Claws’s body. She kicked off the tree’s trunk, extended her arms, soared toward me—and flopped onto her belly a mere meter from her launchpad. Lieutenant

Colonel Lemony Thicket had absorbed the energy when Claws tried to kick off her trunk.

Claws’s grin disappeared as she whirled on Lemon, screeching an accusatory chirp at the traitorous spirit.

I laughed so hard at the scene that I missed a step, crashing down to the forest floor before skidding to a stop on all fours. I made to take off again, to escape with my life, but then Maria body-slammed me.

“Oof!”

Though I had an enhanced body, so did she, and it was like being tackled by a rugby forward.

“Mercy,” I croaked as she wrapped around me like a spider monkey.

“This ‘lowly witness’ demands satisfaction!”

“I yield! I was only joking!”

“All right. You’re forgiven…”

I breathed out a sigh of relief.

“For the insult,” she continued. “For that terrible name, however, your punishment will be more severe!”

Faster than I could react, her tiny little fingers darted under my arms, and my torture began.

“M-mercy! Please!” I yelled, squirming as she tickled me.

Corporal Claws, seeing her chance at revenge, abandoned her squabble with Lemon. She was at my side in a moment, her paws shooting under my chin and jabbing into the tender spot where neck meets shoulder. I tried to escape, tried to twist from the clutches, but I was powerless before the onslaught. After what felt like an eternity, my feet caught purchase on the forest floor. I kicked off, flying for sanctuary. When I reached Lemon’s blue trunk, I latched on like a startled cat, breathing heavily.

I glared down at Maria and Claws, who were both rolling on the floor with laughter.

“Not cool!”

Leroy stood, shaking his head as he stared up at me. “Sometimes I think my life as a cultivator in the capital was more predictable…”

As Marcus, the leader of the merchant caravan, prepared his wares for the villagers of Tropica, he smiled to himself. The contents of the chest he held rivaled the wealth of every other product combined. Using it, he would further his own goals.

When he’d visited the village a month ago, he was filled with curiosity about a strange man who had appeared on these distant shores. This Fischer had shown a cunning unworthy of a mere commoner, but that was the least intriguing of his qualities. More notable was his political sway. Most anomalous of all was his wealth.

When Marcus had arrived back in the capital to unload his coin and collect more wares, he told his business partner of the man and all he’d learned of him. They both agreed; Fischer was likely of noble blood and was expanding his family’s influence and wealth with some kind of scheme that was too complex for them to identify.

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